Why Do I?

I'm sitting in Borders once again instead of Sunday School. Why? With good reason, I assure you. I get one hour when I'm alone and no one knows me. The baristas recognize me, sure. But I'm some place where the only ones who know me are me and God. And I can just be me. Just me. Why does this mean so much?
Why do I hide me away from people. I don't let them know what I'm thinking. I show them a veneer or a painting of me (not a Vermeer...) And when something slips out, people are surprised, shocked. And that always bumps my balance a bit.
And why not? Have I not cultivated this distance? And when a tendril of me slips across, I should not be surprised when people act surprised. They thought they were talking to someone else.
I do not have much of a filter too speak of. I have my own autobahn from my brain to my mouth. My best friend assures me that she loves this about me because she knows I'm real. And I have a couple of friends like her. And my kids get this too, and sometimes Bruce.
The reason is simple my friends. Fear. Fear of rejection. Of ridicule. Of misunderstanding. Of losing myself. Of finding my self.
And the answer is simple, too. Walk into the fire. And let go.
Right. Time for me to pack up and head over to church to meet my lovely girls.
Painting in place?

I wanted to post this because I think it's amazing. My two oldest use Photoshop for drawing, but this is Rosa's first go at photo editing. She took the pictures of Ysabel. I really love it. And I'm so proud of them, both. Rosa has a fan page on Facebook. I think you can find it under Leigh Rainey's art... Bella is trying to get into a high school next year that focuses on the arts. She's wants to study drawing and creative writing. I think that's very cool!

A New Thing

Well, Ive been wanting to learn upholstry, as I believe I mentioned. Baby steps, but at least they are steps. I re-covered our NASTY breakfast room chairs, and now they POP! I love them. When I brought the material home, I could tell they were all sceptical. But now, they love them, too.
I WIN!

Another Sunday and the last day of my break...
Sunday School @ Borders. Picked up a book called Savvy that I've been wanting to read. I really like it so far! It went well with my peppermint mocha... Sometimes I feel bad for not attending my Sunday School class. But mostly I'm just thankful for the time I get alone. I also picked up a desk calendar to help me keep track of my life!
We returned items to the library that I checked out this past summer. Maybe my calendar will help me to keep better track of that, too...
It's a beautiful, clear, COLD day in Atlanta. I should get out for some pictures at the park. Did I mention it's cold? Felt like my skin was freezing on the walk to Borders from church this morning.
We have spaghetti sauce and meatballs on the stove and it's making me hungry.
I am determined to make the best of things at work. To be more diligent and to practice my mind reading skills to the best of my ability. This seems to be a necessity. I wonder if the mind reading helmet I saw on Mythbusters would help. Maybe prayer.
Our pastor did a pretty good job on his teaching today. And it was nice to hear from our resident astrophysics doctor re: the star and the magi.
Blessings!

Cup of Wisdom

I got a cup for Christmas... Written on it:

Less Alcohol, More Tea
Less Meat, More Vegetables
Less Salt, More Vinegar
Less Sugar, More Fruit
Less Eating, More Action
Less Greed, More Giving
Less Worry, More Sleep
Less Driving, More Walking
Less Anger,More Laughter

It was a gift from me to me with hopes that I will pay some attention.

Lighter side, I had a lovely 1st day yesterday. Bruce and I went to his nephews (Kyle) house for a party with family and friends. I really love my married-into family! Kyle proposed to Shannon right after midnight on New Years. She's a doll! God bless them!
When we left there, we went to see Sherlock Holmes. Good stuff! Then dinner at Longhorns. It's a wonderous thing to see eye-to-eye with someone,but not so much that there's not room for discussion.

Happy day, Everyone!

Day one...

What started off as a cloudy, rainy day has turned out sunny. I love it when things change for the better. Atlanta has had a lot of rain this year. Nice bit of a flood this fall washed out part of a street in our neighborhood.
We are going to my nephew's house today for New Years with in-laws. I've never been to his house. Doesn't it seem unreal how you can live so close to family and see them so rarely. This year, I want to do better at that. Once I find out where he lives, I can take him muffins. I know he's only 10 minutes away.
I've been looking at blogs this morning and most everyone is posting what they would like to do to be better. A noble incline, indeed. Exercise, organizing closets, and the like...
Personally, I seem to live in a house that wants to be on an HGTV program that gets rid of clutter. A house seeking fame and the humiliation of the people whe live in it. We really should take better care of it, as it has no thumbs and cannot do it for itself.
I lost my favorite camera this year to carelessness. It was in my bag which I tossed down. Something in the bag hit the LCD screen and shattered it. Sad, really. I still keep it on my desk with vague hopes that an alternate reality will open up and it will be magically repaired. Hmmm...
I've got another, but it's not as friendly.
This morning's muffins were bananas and pineapple. YUM! Very nice with a cheese omelet and coffee.
So everyone have a happy! I'm off to see what the rest of this day holds in store. Get out there and see YOUR day!
Blessings!

What's New?

Well, here comes 2010. It's been an interesting year. We have two girls homeschooling now, so THAT'S a challenge. Rosa is helping with that a lot, Thank God. I love doing history with Molly!
Speaking of God, about a year ago we started attending a church with friends. Like so many things in my life, I loved it and now I'm rather ambivilent.
I feel like I'm just floating along with not much direction. It's sort of disturbing. I'd like to learn how to upholster furniture. Because I see really cool furniture and it costs so MUCH! I figure I could do it myself. Hard to find a school though.
I love to bake but then I EAT IT! And it's goooooooooood for my taste buds but not so much for my waist. BTW, I made gorgeous blueberry muffins this afternoon. Mmmmmmmmmm...
Been studying the Bible a fair bit. Found a good site to help me out with that. Interesting stuff... And a bit on the outside of tradition, which I like.
It's been too ugly to exercise outside. Fortunately our school system opened a fitness place for employees (that includes me!) and we got a Wii Fit Plus for Christmas. I love it!
So just stuff and stuff!
What's a girl to do?